Unfortunately, when business mixes with art the first casualties are ethics and morals. Scruples is a word for those who toil in the anonymity of humanitarian efforts. Corporations need not bother with norms of social conduct; for money and money alone is their goal. If they do not like the rules, they can pay someone who legislates such things to change them. No one gets hurt and both sides come out as winners.

The Slayer's romantic vision of the brewing industry has left him naive to the questionable behavior of some of its participants. Though he looked at the brewing world through Munich malt colored glasses, even he could not sweep the despotic antics of Anheuser-Busch beneath a hopen rug. The Slayer would expect no less from A-B (as their known in the business). You don't become the king of anything without the benefit of oppression and utter disregard for the tenets of fair play.

The Slayer never thought that kind of cold, callous, capitalistic behavior would ever come from the microbrewing segment of the beer market. Just recently, he was shocked to find that the same sort of cut throat demeanor could be found in the seemingly pristine world of craft brews.

Surprisingly, this ethically challenged conduct has not come from an upstart brewery trying to heartlessly carve a niche in the competitive craft brew market. No, the incident of which The Slayer speaks was perpetrated by a company that is a cornerstone of the industry, Boston Brewing Company, makers of Samuel Adams.

This sordid affair begins with the release of Samuel Adams White Ale. While the beer itself has nothing directly to do with the event, Boston Brewing Company's proclamation that it is one of their Spring seasonals is at the heart of the matter.

The Slayer first had this beer at The Fat Pelican in early January; long before one would see robins, azaleas in bloom, trees beginning to bud or any other vernal event. While there is nothing inherently wrong with designating a White Beer as a Spring seasonal, The Slayer thought the timing of the brew's release was as appropriate as setting up a Christmas tree on the day after Easter (although in twenty years that may be the norm).

It seems that The Slayer was not the only one to think that bringing out a Spring seasonal before the first bikini sighting was a bit premature. The powers that be at Boston Brewing Company soon realized that the had made a mistake. In order to minimize the damage of releasing the beer too early they came up with a dastardly plan to make the Spring of 1998 seem to come earlier.

The Slayer first became aware of Boston Brewing Company's vernal acceleration scheme from one of his moles in Punxsutawney, PA. It seems that Jim Koch and others at the brewery tried to get Punxsutawney Phil to proclaim an early Spring on Groundhog Day this year.

While these unscrupulous executives did not in any way attempt to harm the poor rodent, they did try to influence him with bribes. They gave the paunchy prognosticator corn, daffodil and tulip bulbs and an assortment of other ground hog delicacies. By doing this, the ethically impaired suits hoped to lure Punxsutawney Phil beneath a huge Samuel Adams White Beer banner. This would not only give them plenty of publicity for their beer but would also ensure that the overgrown rat would not see his shadow; thus, giving the illusion of an early Spring.

Punxsutawney Phil, being an ethical and moral, Lutheran groundhog refused to sellout for a few measly kernels and bulbs (although he did eat them). When February second came, he boldly strode out of his hole and spread his rotund shadow on the ground of the pathetically under-entertained Pennsylvania town.

Oh, but all was not lost for Boston Brewing Company contingent. In a shrewd move, they hedged their bets by also bribing several other prominent groundhogs. While these lesser known dust mops with legs would not have the same impact as the prominent Pennsylvanian terrapig, at least all would not be lost.

Using the same tactics, Boston Brewing Company operatives infiltrated the burrows of Punxsutawney Phil wanna-bes all across North America. Like P.P., Wiarton Willie, Canada's favorite groundhog, and Octorara Orphie, another Pennsylvania woodchuck, could not be bought. They too saw their shadows.

As of the writing of this column, neither Wisconsin's Jimmy the Groundhog nor Tennessee Groundhog have reported the presence or absence of a shadow. Their whereabouts are at this time unknown. A Boston Brewing Company spokesman refuses to comment on the matter. Some groundhog experts are attributing the disappearances to rodent rage.

It does seem that brewery personnel got to one portly pseudo-pig prognosticator, Georgia's General Baeuregard Lee. He saw no shadow on the morning of February second. Later that day, he was reportedly discovered in the closet of his hutch eating corn on the cob and drinking Sam Adams White Beer. This report has yet to be confirmed. Lee's spokesman denies the validity of the account, saying, "General Lee only imbibes on Woodchuck Cider."

While these events could have occurred, the validity of this "Samgate" scandal, to bring the false hope of an early Spring to the beer buying public, is somewhat in question. Many of the reports have come from individuals who start each sentence with "Psst, hey buddy." Also, the only physical evidence is a corn cob found in General Beauregard Lee's oval closet by a janitor. While it does have some sort of mucoid substance on it, it has yet to be determined if the matter is groundhog saliva.

As of this not withstanding, Samuel Adams White Beer is an excellent example of the Belgium White style. It has a light, frothy head that has amazing retention for the relative lack of hop character standard in this type of beer. It's color, while not exactly white, is a yellow so pale that it gives the illusion of the KKK's favorite color.

The brew's aroma is dominated by the two "unusual spices" (as the bottle proclaims them to be), orange peel and coriander. These ingredients are as common to a Belgium White as bits of cheese doodles are in the corners of an Oprah fan's mouth.

Sam Adams White Beer has a spicy, citrus flavor with the malt silkiness of white chocolate. There is no hop flavor; which is true to the style. The Slayer highly recommends this beer for Spring, or even pre-Spring, consumption.

However, if even a portion of the claims made against Boston Brewing Company are true, The Slayer thinks Jim Koch and the other brewery executives should be quite ashamed of themselves. He recommends that they bring out their Fall Seasonal closer to start of the actual season. Jim, that way you won't have to pay squirrels to start gathering nuts in June.