While The Slayer is out on safari, his mailbox becomes stuffed with cards and letters from his readers. Most of these correspondence are questions about where to find certain brews or what makes a style of beer taste the way it does. When he returns from the malt beverage wilderness, The Slayer tries to answer all the mail of this sort. He is more than happy to share his fermented wisdom with the masses.

Of course, no fan mail delivery would be complete without the occasional derogatory letter. Fortunately, The Slayer is a man of great ego and self-assurance; so these letters tend not to bother him much.

However, he has noticed a troubling pattern to the hate mail. Most of it comes from his immediate family. Even though, thankfully, The Slayer is adopted, it seems his columns and comments rub his non-blood family the wrong way. Until he officially began his career as The Slayer, he never knew that his dear, sweet grandmother had such an expansive expletive vocabulary. The words she has used in some of her letters to him would make a pie-eyed Admiral Horatio Nelson blush.

This week The Slayer would like to share some excerpts from his most recent fan mail delivery. He wishes he could print some of the colorful passages from his relative's letters, but they are far too explicit for a family audience.

Here are some citations of letters from people who are quite happy not to be related to The Slayer. Jimmy Ray Oxendine from Lumberton, NC writes, "I have never heard of half those beers you mentioned in your NASCAR article a couple weeks past...You forgot to say anything about Pabst Blue Ribbon...I can't watch a race without PBR in a can. Does that make me a renaissance redneck, whatever that means, too?" Well, Jimmy, though you share a name with the redneck in the article, The Slayer would have to say drinking PBR from a can makes you the antithesis of a renaissance redneck.

Susan Gerber from Woodburn, IN writes, "I'm getting married in the fall. Which style of beer would best compliment my reception?" Good question, Susan. Given Indiana's latitude, average autumnal temperatures and precipitation, The Slayer would recommend either a Scottish or Strong Ale. Since Strong Ales are somewhat hard to come by in the US, your best bet would be to go with a Scottish. Susan, if you have never been ""known" in a Biblical sense, a Belgian White might also be an appropriate accompaniment.

By sheer coincidence, the last excerpt is the perfect segue into The Slayer's latest beer safari conquest. It's amazing how these things happen.

Alice Kent from Scarborough, Ontario writes, "Don't you think a man of your superior wisdom and nobility should be addressed in a more formal manner? Calling you The Slayer seems far to informal for a man of your importance. Something along the lines of Sire Slayer or Your Highness Slayer would be far more appropriate." Though The Slayer agrees whole heartedly with the things you say about him, Alice, he is also an extremely humble man. However, if he were to choose a title by which to be addressed, it would have to one that included all of his many attributes. He thinks something simple like, "Serene Highness, the noble and greatly learned Beer Slayer," would suffice. It's full of pomp, but retains The Slayer's sense of modesty.

When we in this country think of pompous titles of little worth or use, England immediately comes to mind; such as the one above. The people of this climatically controlled island in the North Sea still hold firm to an aristocracy that was virtually thrown into obsolescence with the signing of the Magna Carta. Yet, the whiter-than-copier-paper Brits continue to utter words like "Your Highness", "Sir", "Sire" and so on when coming into contact with these figure heads with no bite.

As the British Empire rose to power and became the greatest practitioners of Imperialism in the world, they happened upon India, another country whose leaders, the Maharajahs, enjoyed a flowery title trail behind their names, as well. From this "union" of the two countries was born something quite spectacular, India Pale Ale (IPA).

This week, The Slayer ran across a new example of this style born of necessity at the Lighthouse beer and wine shop in Wrightsville Beach. This unique IPA, Jaipur Pale Ale, is packaged in a jade green champagne bottle. It is brewed by the Humes Brewing Company in Glen Ellen, CA.

When The Slayer happened upon this brew his eyes lit up like a child in the toy section of a department store at Christmas. He had never seen nor heard of this ale before; nor had he ever had anything from this brewery. The Slayer is certain that the thrill he felt over this discovery was similar to that felt by Newton after the apple crowned him.

With the speed and efficiency of a successful shoplifter, The Slayer snatched up the bottle and brought it back to his lair for a proper sampling. Reading the markings on the bottle before opening it, as is his custom, The Slayer discovered that this IPA is made with certified organic ingredients (oh, how Californian) and is unfiltered, meaning the yeast is still in the bottle.

Also proclaimed in the self-serving bottle inscription were some of the beer's ingredients. While The Slayer found nothing unusual about the use of spring water, barley malt and pure yeast, he was a bit puzzled by the addition of noble hops. Hops of the noble ilk are customarily used in German style beers, since that is where they first were cultivated. An IPA, being English in origin, is traditionally bittered with English hops such as Kent Goldings and Fuggles. This slight breach of brewing protocol would not matter if the beer tasted good.

Prying the cap from the bottle, The Slayer prepared to put Jaipur Pale Ale to the test. As with all beers, he poured the brew into his favorite tasting pint glass and assessed it's visual appeal. The brew's head was the most impressive The Slayer has seen for quite some time. It floated atop the liquid like a big, puffy cumulus cloud.

The ale was dark gold in color. The Slayer's sample was cloudy because he purposely poured the yeast in his glass; one can never get enough B vitamins. Even with it's relatively opaque appearance Jaipur Ale's color enticed The Slayer to continue.

The IPA's aroma was one of hops, nothing but hops. As The Slayer deposited the first dram of the ale in his mouth, he found that the beer's flavor followed the nose's lead. He could taste nothing but the bittering herb. The IPA's simplicity was a bit disappointing.

Undeterred by the initial taste, The Slayer slowly finished off the beer. As it warmed, Jaipur Pale Ale's flavor became far more complex. The sweetness of caramel malts and hints of oak (traditional for an IPA) began to make their way to the forefront. The flavor of hops was still very much present in the beer's finish. By the time he had drained the bottle of it's contents, The Slayer was very pleased with Jaipur Pale Ale.

As for fan mail, The Slayer enjoys receiving it from everyone but famliy. The best way to contact him is via email at: Beerslay@aol.com. Who knows, if you don't use too much vulgarity, you may see your name in a future column. Remember to address your correspondence, Serene Highness, the noble and greatly learned Beer Slayer.

That has a nice ring to it, don't you think?