My Own Private Asia As of late, I have often wondered what I could get for $100,000. I mean, the list is extensive. $100,000 could go a long way. I could buy many things, in fact, and set my wife and I up quite nicely for some time. Or, with my eye on the future, I could donate the $100,000 to the Democratic Party, to be used for their next Presidential election cycle. The benefits could be staggering. Since I have no desire to be buried in Arlington National Cemetery (as I have no desire to be buried at all..but especially not on General Lee's lawn), I would have to look at one of the other Presidential Benefit Programs. Perhaps a romp in the Lincoln bedroom would be some historical hoopla, and would likely impress my friends. But I don't know that it would be worth my hard-earned $100,000. Besides, I can get a decent hotel room in the area, and take a tour of the White House for under $100. That would still leave me with $99,900 with which to secure more DC perks. Coffee with the President of the United States has a certain appeal, and would likely prove very interesting, but I'd rather buy him an 80-cent cup of joe at McDonald's than spend a hundred grand to drink it on his turf. Besides, $100,000 is a hell of a lot of money, and I want it to have staying power. Something more long-term than an afternoon tea or a night in the sack. All the recent talk about the economics of various Asian nations, going on right now at the Pacific Rim Summit, has me intrigued. For those of you who spent the last year in a small village in the mountains of Peru, the President and his Party received quite a bit of campaign funding from Asian interests. Though he contends everything was perfectly hunky-dory, he does now seem to be quite interested in the economic conditions of nations tied (however loosely) to his creditors. So, naturally, I thought my $100,000 might get the President of the United States interested in my economic condition. We just want to be in a position to be supportive when we can, the New York Times News Service quoted the President as saying. I would like him to say that about me. He would come to my house with his powerful entourage, and look at my economic condition. He would review my checkbook with that I feel your pain look, and then help himself to a sandwich in my refrigerator (probably drinking the milk right out of the carton). Then he would look for ways to help my economy. I would tell him about the garage roof. If I had a public works project to improve my property, I would feel better about my economic situation, and thus spend more money on American goods, I would tell him. Plus, with a garage that didn't leak, I could buy even more products, perhaps a car from Detroit (I would joke), because I would have a place to work on it. He would listen intently, nodding in agreement between bites of his bologna sandwich slathered with mayo. Also, I have all these old paint cans, Mr. President, I would continue. The County tells me they represent a hazard, perhaps some Superfund money is in order, to help me clean up this property. The President's eyes would glow with the shear ease with which he could repay this humble contributor. There wouldn't even be any foreign policy changes involved. And, shucks, bigwigs from the corporate world that made such donation got one-hundred-fold (plus) returns on their investments before Ron Brown's plane hit that mountain. Perhaps I could even have a lively debate with Mr. Clinton about renewable resources, and get the government to equip my house with solar panels. Heck, I might even get one of the Secret Service boys to cut my grass. And, of course, I would be flattered at the President's platitudes about what a fine American I was, as he announced to the press the many programs that would be instituted on my little 125'x125' country. Sounds nice, doesn't it? Now, if only I could figure out a way to come up with the $100,000!