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This is Madness! A Fable The Setting: Deep inside Microsoft Headquarters, the designers of Microsoft Internet Explorer attempt a ghastly experiment. Dawkins: As head of the MSIE development team, I accept the responsibility to undertake this test. Bob: Have you gone mad? It's impossible! It can't be done! Dawkins: It is naysayers like you, Bob, that bring down progress. People like you that said that we couldn't build a stable OS! That we couldn't make a program under 40 MB! That we couldn't... Bob: Uh.. we still can't do that stuff Dawkins: Silence! Guido, Jimmy, take care of Bob. Bob: No! Oh... Ouch... for the love of.. Ow... my pancreas... Dawkins: Any more disagreements? Well then, let us continue with our boldest experiment yet: To travel backwards in time!!! All: Gasp! Dawkins: Prepare the equipment Microserf 1: Here you are sir: A 14.4 modem, 8 MB of RAM, and a *shiver* 25 mhz processor Microserf 2: This is madness! Microserf 3: You can't possibly run that slow! It's beyond human comprehension! Dawkins: Though it may seem impossible to you, there was once a time when everyone did not have their own T1 line hooked up to their 64 MB, 250 mhz machine. But today we are going to attempt to go back to man's earliest roots, to view the Internet through the eyes of its earliest inhabitants. And now - Start the computer! Microserf 2: Why is it taking so long to start up? Microserf 3: Isn't Windows95 faster than this? --5 hours later-- Dawkins: Now that the machine has started up, let us use it with early netizen tools: MSIE 1.0. As we wait for it to start, let's give you a little background history: It may be hard for you to fathom, but these 1.0 browsers were used by millions until their extinction long ago. In fact, millions of copies of MSIE were actually bundled with Windows95 back in the archaic year of 1996. Some computers in backwards parts of the world still come with it loaded. *Thoughtful chuckling* Micrserf 1: MSIE ready for the first page, sir. Dawkins: Excellent. Load the Microsoft homepage! --2 Days later-- Dawkins: Well... We made it - We survived - Just let us remember that the early netizen may not have been so lucky...Wait a sec - This page looks terrible! It's all balgerdash and code with random graphics! Where is the Java? Where is the ActiveX? How could earlier man read, let alone use this? Microserf 3: Let us simply thank Gates we live in a time more advanced than these savages Microserf 2: It's a good thing people don't live like this today. Dawkins: It certainly is. And now, to the most dangerous part of or little test. We will actually attempt to use our latest browser on this ancient machine. Load Internet Explorer 4.0! Narrarator: It was then that something went horrbly wrong. Fire, brimstone, hourglasses, the whole thing went up in a cloud of smoke. Those that survived the crash vowed never again to consider those antique machines, and to be thankful every day that no one still lives that way The End |
This is Madness! A Fable Testing... Everyone Should Be Able To See Your Page -- Well Web Page Makeovers: The Rules of Web Design Netscape Vs. Microsoft and the Great Tag Debate A Real Retro Web Page Fonts and the Future of Web Design Simplicity: How Not To Fall Off the Web Page Learning Curve Here you will find informative articles written by our staff here to help you in constructing your site. All articles come with an e-mail link if you have any questions. Enjoy!
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