My past does not contain any memories of making New Year Resolutions. Why ? Thatıs a deserving question or so it seems since 6 a.m. this morning.

The answer is quite simple really. Iım a procrastinator ! There, Iıve said it out loud...in public. I put things off until itıs too late or until doing them doesnıt hold the same meaning as it would have if done on time.

Iıve been this way for years and I do mean Years ! Procrastinating isnıt a fault that suddenly comes creeping from the night, itıs an acquired fault one must labour towards slowly, diligently with focus and determintion.

Back in 1976 I decided that I was afraid to give birth to my fourth child and told myself that * I changed my mind * I wasnıt going to do it. I managed to prolong that pregnancy for two weeks. I swear to God in my best Lilly Thomlin voice that ŒThatıs the truthı. Mom says I marked him because he has become a procrastinator too.

Russ announced to me yesterday that I was late getting this article written. I have been ill with a viral flu for a few days now and I used it as an excuse, which he bought, but itıs not really the reason.

I also responded that I needed a little more time to decide which one of my brood to make fun of this month. It seems theyıve all had a minor lapse in the Œstupidityı overflow. Perhaps theyıre on guard !

My second resolution for 1999 is to convince my family to celebrate the gift giving part of Christmas on New Yearsı Day. Iım certain youıve noticed the sales that begin December 26th. Now why do we rush out pre-holiday and spend like crazy money we may not have for things that we know are going on sale for at least half price the day after Christmas ? Does anyone have a logical reason for this ?

I added my total this year, deducted the sales prices and learned I could have saved a couple hundred dollars that I could have used towards birthday presents. Iım nuts ! Iım nuts because Iıve had this idea for years and Iıve procrastinated putting it into effect.

Besides if I am able to carry this off perhaps I will avoid the issue of shopping in overly crowded stores and the possibility of ever coming face to face with ŒThe Beast of Butt Crackı.

Iıve had nightmares !