Okay ladies ! Now that introductions are over let's get busy ! First of all I am just as anxious to hear from you as you are to hear from any of your friends. I don't need to tell you that there isn't enough time in the day to sit down and rest let alone fit in a little harmless gossip about the things we all experience as women.
In fact IF we cut loose with the stories we have to tell we'd never get anything done!

I had written this month's column and being a WOMAN I dumped it and began anew.
I was on the web this morning and found the most wonderful site. My God ! You're going to love it ! But I'm not going to tell you where it is until you finish reading my column.
Think about this ladies ! Why are we so unique? Take my previous statement for example.
Men who read that will automatically say to themselves, My God ! She's nuts! She's directing her readers to other sites!' Don't they know how much we love to share? They call it gossip. We call it information.

I ve also decided to add to my column a list of topics for you to choose from WHEN you write in with your side of the story. Keep it decent and keep it in mind that we are the care givers of the world. Please do not male bash unless you are a professional. Otherwise seek the assistance of a professional..like anyone you know whose husband is always happy and you don't understand how he puts up with it.

Rose's Topics For Discussion:
Please include the Topic Number with your response:

Topic #1) The Next Time Around/ Should I have requested a resume and references?
Share with us your experiences as the second wife and name all the guilty parties!

Topic#2) Help me! I woke up with a teenager in the house! Got a humorous story to share? Let us have it!

Topic #3) Office Outlook ! Who's standing guard while you're reading this? If your company bought this column hoping to improve your work environment morale then give the guy a break! Send in your funniest office story and then get ( him ) to read it.

Topic #4) Name a woman in your life that has made the greatest impression on you and tell us why.

Due to the column being new and limited space only one response from each topic will be posted next month. However if I can I'll squeeze in a few every month. If you do not want your response to be posted please state so when you e-mail me.



POETRY SECTION
This is one of my own works:

PHI BETA KAPPA vs GED

I'm certain we've all been there
At one time in our life
When we wonder why they dare to be
In public dressed like that.
Or bring their children to a restaurant
Clearly intended for adults.
Or bother washing the rust bucket
They proudly drive about.
Or take the wind blown hair style
To mean don't bother brushing it out.'
For some people it doesn't take much
Still other's quite a lot.
Just remember there's pride on all levels
Try taking what they've got.
It's a means of self approval
A display of self esteem.
It's a way to get their point across
And score one for their team.
They live on their own level
And you my friend on yours.
We all have to be somewhere
It's a matter of being secure.
So ! Tonight if you happen to see me
My attire not to your liking
My children are screaming in rare delight
My car backfires as I'm parking.
Just pretend you didn't notice
That I was watching you
And wondering why you go around
Dressed the way you do!
And why you chose to come here
If you're so appalled by life.
All things contain their opposite
I Could Have Been Your Wife .I received this poem from a reader.

A Piece Of Me Submitted by MC of Ohio
Everyone has a piece of me
My children...willingly
My family...from loyalty
My job...from necessity
Everyone I owe money to
To live...to be
Everyone has a piece of me
Everyone except...Me

That came to me from Michelle. She's a struggling single parent of three children.
She said she laughs all the time because if she didn't... she'd cry. Well Michelle! You go girl! I'm sure plenty of us can empathize with you . I heard somewhere...could have been in my own mind ...that we should simulate our time , knowledge and care-giving as geometric predestined slices of pie. Each morning when I get up I decide how much there is to go around. Somedays I only cut two halves. One slice is always for me! When it's gone...It's Gone.


Reader's Response: From BJ Mills of Indiana

Hi Rose,
To say that I liked it wouldn't be enough! I loved it.... I've got a little story, also about the strange places women hide money. Here goes, When I was little I would go out every Saturday, like clockwork, shopping with my Mamaw. Every Saturday like clockwork, before we could leave the house, she would go in the kitchen out of plain view of everyone and reach down in her blouse and, there it was safety pinned to her bra strap, a little tiny baby sock!! In this sock she kept her STASH!!! I think at times that I must have been the only one with knowledge of this sock. After reading your story about your aunt Lily I thought you would get a kick out of hearing about my Mamaw. I look forward to reading more of your work. I've added you to my favorites list.

Good Luck, ....Response..Thanks Bobbi ! I appreciate your comments and input.
Your Mamaw sounds like a woman who can make the people around her laugh.


Oh Yeah! I almost forgot to reveal the awesome site I came across! Please try to go visit it. You won't regret it. It's located at http://www.uq.net.au/~zzbushy/choice.htm
Upon entering the site you will find The Z-Files Zoe's Hot Stuff You'll be rolling on the floor laughing before you've finished reading some of Zoe's tales as a security guard at a department store. Have fun !

If you'd like to enjoy Tablescraps at the office please ask your boss to take a look at it and for Heaven's Sake give 'em your best sales pitch . After every lunch break there are always...Tablescraps.

Until next month...Your Friend.....Rose